the old man and the cars

"Sir I'm gonna call the police if you don't move."

How long the old man had been standing there, blocking the auto from entering the staff of life parking lot, i couldn't say. He looked frail but resolute. The woman in the car looked frazzled and ready to make good on her threat.

It wasn't my fight, I could have just rode by cuz' you know, a pedestrian can't block a bike and do I really care if car traffic gets hampered? Then again, she might very well run the old dude over or worse, call the pigs.

"Excuse me, are you okay?"

He turns to me slowly, says, "Are you a cop?"

"No."

"Well mind your own business. These people are trying to take my parking space!"

I gesture that I can't hear him (I can), he hesitates and then walks over to me. I gesture to the woman to pass, she hesitates, then drives in. Grandpa realizes he's been duped and starts telling me off.

"You oughta mind your own business. These people took my parking space, and I'm not gonna let em' in. They can't just do that."

"I'm sorry," I say, keeping the conversation chill - grandpa ain't gonna throw any punches. "I was just concerned. You were standing in front of a car and the lady was mad."

At that, he repeats himself and goes right back into the center of the entrance, just as another car is trying to pull in. The driver isn't sure what to do, but the car that tries to pull in behind her does.

"HONK! HONK!"

There are now two cars being blocked by grandpa - one halfway in the driveway, and another big-ass SUV in the middle of the street.

"HONK! HONK!"

Two more cars ride up and stop in front of the SUV, another car stops behind it. I move to the other side of the entrance.

"Sir!" I say, "Are you sure you're okay?"

The lady directly in front of him starts yelling for him to move, and the SUV dipshit behind her is only escalating things with her horn, a crowd is beginning to gather. I try to coax grandpa over so we can talk. He looks bewildered and frustrated, he steps aside and the lady passes, yelling, "What the hell is wrong with you?! You could have caused an accident!"

In turn, he starts yelling at me. "Why can't you mind your own business? These people are trying to take my parking space!"

"Look, I don't like the police," I say, "But there's a lot of people here who won't hesitate to call them on you."

"I don't give a shit! That's a night of free room and board. Fuck em."

"Do you need a place to stay? Are you homeless?" (He doesn't look homeless, but he doesn't look rich either)

"No, no, my car's over there. But they're trying to take all the parking spaces."

I look over to where his car is supposedly parked. There are plenty of open parking spaces. I think he's gonna have a stroke, that or senile.

"Which one?" I ask. He points to one not more than 10 feet away. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm really not sure," he says. But at least he's out of the line of fire, as the autos are now passing both of us status quo. I'm already running late, so I apologize again, wish him well, and continue about my business.

At a distance, the staff of life manager and employees are watching, people have been complaining. I ride over and explain what I think happened. Later, the manager says the old man's son came out shortly thereafter, said, "Come on dad, let's go," and took off in the car he'd told me was his.

I reflect on the incident. The women in the cars being blocked refused to step out and engage grandpa and just kept yelling at him from their windows. Maybe they were scared of him, though he didn't look very threatening to me. Had no other pedestrian or bicyclist interfered, the drivers surely would have called the cops, and the cops surely would have just physically shoved him out of the way and then probably given him a stern lecture - all disrespectful behavior towards an elder as far as I'm concerned. And how easily car traffic can pile up! In a matter of seconds really. Like a bunch of fat cows, all unable to maneuver more than a few inches before their massive bodies and so very noisy. Sometimes it feels like drivers are hostages to their vehicles, and other times it feels like we're all hostages to their world.

i hope grandpa made it home alright.

Blessed with rain

wow, you're hardcore she says
i am a radioactive wet rat
bright yellow rain slicker
black rain pants
helmet and blinky lights
damp face
it only looks bad when you're in a car i say
yeah, cuz you hit the water faster she adds
yup, it's actually pretty nice
being sprinkled with cool sweet water while you exercise
yeah she says
i get off my bike
she locks her car

Virtual Economic Disaster or...

"The Unemployed Avatar"

In January 2010, the virtual unemployment rate in virtual America remained over 10%. Virtual people were getting virtually desperate, hungry, angry. The problem was, none of the unemployed virtual people knew of the other unemployed virtual people around them.

The more radical leaning virtually unemployed believed they might be able to wrest control and redistribute the wealth from the virtual rich, if only they could get organized. But the virtual rich had already beaten them to the punch - for decades ago, virtual super highways had been constructed to make movement without virtual money difficult, and former virtual farmland had been turned into virtual housing pods, complete w/ virtual 2 car garages in virtual cul-de-sacs.

The virtual people with virtual jobs lived in these virtual neighborhoods, watching virtual "reality" TV shows night after night and ingesting tons upon tons of virtual advertising. They virtually knew nothing of the growing number of virtual people in need right outside their doors. The former moved from place to place inside virtual steel cages called cars, while the latter hid out in abandoned spaces and were rarely seen. The situation was such that a huge numbers of virtual people were virtually invisible.

It was almost as if they did not exist.

* * *
To be continued.

Things you won't see in a car...

this morning near capitola i pass a blockbuster membership card on the road, no biggie, i see all kinds of miscellaneous trash while riding, so i keep riding. then i notice a few other scattered plastic cards, i keep riding...then i spot a driver's license, i pull over. i feel like hanzel minus gretel as i pick up the trail of plastic cards and one wallet, careful not to get tagged by oncoming auto traffic.

turns out the drivers license belongs to a capitola man who's car got broken into this morning. he'd already canceled his credit cards by the time i called but luckily, hadn't ordered a new license.

his wallet had gotten pretty chewed up by the road, as i'm presuming the cars that rode by didn't see it and more likely than not, drove right over it. that's a sad thing if you think about it - so much gets missed in a car; on a bike i regularly pick up loose change (37 cents this morning), and today, someone's wallet. Add to that the pleasant smell of solstice trees (christmas trees to everyone else, i just ain't no christian) being hauled away this morning, and i'm very, very glad i ride a bike.

I need a new bike - dilemma part I

i have a friend who once said whenever he gets a new car, he immediately kicks a dent or puts a nick in it. just to get it over with.

i totally know how he feels.

about 48 hours have passed since i started asking around for advice on a decent commuter ride. and the answers have been pretty consistent - Surly, Salsa, and maybe Bianci. No one has recommended modern Schwinns and I know better than to even bother with ugly ass Giants.

Thing is, i'm used to not worrying about where i lock up. i mean, i know dudes who commute and never park outside but bring their prized rides into their office/cube space instead. that ain't me. if i have to fret about the paint getting nicked or some meth head jacking my wheels, seat, or whatever, it ain't worth the trouble.

then there's the issue of licensing your ride w/ the state - yes, it's only a few bucks but ugh, more government bureaucracy. one of the best things about riding is the simplicity of bicycle technology (er...lack of motor) and how this requires very little parasitic off-shoot industries (i.e. no pinche auto-insurance dickwads, driver's ed classes, etc).

but...damn the Surly Pacer is a sweet ride. now, why the f- doesn't it have mounts for a rack on the seat stay?!!!!

*sigh*

is it worth going into debt over? won't i have to get a little matching cap to wear w/ it? will i have to replace my pocket knife w/ a switchblade and be ready to cut some sucka-ass-punk who tries to mess with it?

i can picture it now:

"nice ride, now hand it over."

"piss off."

"I said hand the bike over!"

"death first!"

*glock glock*

thud.

I need a new bike

it is a new year and i need a new bike.

there's just no way around it. Of the 5 hand-me-down bikes i've been in possession of over the last decade, all of them have something askew.

The blue Trek is pretty much thrashed, I got the front changer hooked up to a shifter that looks like a charred finger, and I cannot stand riding the streets on 26" wheels. The lavender Schwinn Townie is a delight to ride but heavy, squeaky (I refuse to change the saddle as it is an original part, which I'm guessing goes back at least 25 years), and isn't equipped to hold panniers (though, I really do love the front basket). The Benotto frame was stripped over a year ago to outfit the Bridgestone, because the Bridgestone has rear mounts for a rack and the Benotto doesn't.

But as I've come to painfully discover - The Bridgestone frame is simply too small for me to have panniers on. That is to say, despite switching out 2 difference racks, and two different kinds of panniers, my heels keep hitting the latter no matter which way i put it together. So I need to get a new bike.

The problem is, i actually don't know that much about bikes. I just love riding them. I have a benotto, bridgestone, trek, and schwinn, and know that i don't like cannondales. But other than that, I'm pretty much at a loss when it comes to shopping for a new ride. I mean, clearly a more classic road frame with rear mounts and 700 wheels is what I'd prefer, maybe with townie handle bars, but what's a reliable and affordable make/model? I don't wanna read a book on the subject and Craigslist is overwhelming. Ugh. Dear internet-universe, what do you recommend?

Copenhagen, the state, everywhere

Been watching the proceedings in Copenhagen for almost 2 weeks now and this picture pretty much says it all.

The message from industrial civilization to the living world: "Out of my cold dead hands."