Friday, January 22, 2010

Corporate personhood, natural disasters, a bad joke

Dude 1: Hey, did you hear the one about the corporation that became self-aware after the Supreme Court declared it to be a person?

Dude 2: Um, no.

Dude 1: It took a giant shit on Haiti.

All bad joking aside, it's good to know the year is starting off on the right foot - The collapse of Haiti, the end to Democratic control of the Senate (way to waste a whole year guys!), and the Supreme Court affirming their position as this country's highest group of fools. Yeah guys - If corporations are indeed people, then they ought to be treated with the same level of respect we afford sociopaths and child molesters, which is to say, none whatsoever.

But to paraphrase Utah Phillips, "It's too easy to get down about how things are at the global level. If you look at what's happening at the local level, there's a lot of amazing things going on."

And it's true - Here in Santa Cruz, the good folks at People Power are raising funds to sue the pants off Caltrans for being a bunch of myopically minded motherfuckers, specifically ones who hold on to the outdated notion that you can keep widening a highway and decrease auto congestion. I'm still pissed at Caltrans for refusing to put in bike lanes on Mission St, which resulted in at least two bicycle deaths a few years ago.

The Wednesday night Saturn Cafe fundraiser already passed but there's still next Tuesday, Jan.26th at Gabriella Cafe. Click here for details:

As for me, I'm keeping my New Year's Bicycle Resolutions simple - Find a way to get a decent commuter ride with 32" tires and room for panniers; lobby downtown Trader Joe's to install a bike coral; and spend at least one day running around screaming, "Peak Oil is coming! Peak Oil is coming!"


Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Are corporations really persons?

Do corporations think?

Do corporations grieve when a loved one dies as a result of a lack of adequate health care?

If a corporation ever committed an unspeakable crime against the American people, could IT be sent to federal prison? (Note the operative word here: "It")

Has a corporation ever given its life for its country?

Has a corporation ever been killed in an accident as the result of a design flaw in the automobile it was driving?

Has a corporation ever written a novel that inspired millions?

Has a corporation ever risked its life by climbing a ladder to save a child from a burning house?

Has a corporation ever won an Oscar? Or an Emmy? Or the Nobel Peace Prize? Or the Pulitzer Prize in Biography?

Has a corporation ever been shot and killed by someone who was using an illegal and unregistered gun?

Has a corporation ever paused to reflect upon the simple beauty of an autumn sunset or a brilliant winter moon rising on the horizon?

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a noise if there are no corporations there to hear it?

Should corporations kiss on the first date?

Our lives - yours and mine - have more worth than any corporation. To say that the Supreme Court made a awful decision on Thursday is an understatement. Not only is it an obscene ruling - it's an insult to our humanity.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

Bicicleta Bandito said...

No way, thee Tom Degan himself is commenting on my blog! I'm so flattered. Wow, now I feel bad for not elaborating on how the Supreme Court's very existence is just another example of the inherent tension between political authority and moral autonomy or to put it another way, why what's legal/lawful has very little to do with what's right.

I was also gonna say something about how watching the Democrats fumble yet again (poor Ted Kennedy must be spinning in his grave), is a lot like keeping in touch with an old lover and finding out they're still dating that same asshole (i.e. corporate amerika) and getting screwed over. It's like, you aren't interested in them anymore but you can't help but check out their FB page from time to time thinking they'll have grown up a bit and yet you still somehow feel really disappointed when they haven't.

Then again, that metaphor doesn't work because as you know, it's really the american public who're getting screwed over by that same abusive asshole known as the Democratic Party and her pimp known as Corporate America. Which brings up another subject, Tom - So when are you gonna become an anarchist? seriously homes, I know the word may make your sphincter twinge a little, but think of it this way - instead of pontificating about how the world should be governed, then advocating reform by voting and calling your state senator, you get to say fuck all that, let's burn shit down!

but alas, the medium of online commentary allows most of us to spend more time offering opinions as freely as a we breathe rather than actually fucking shit up. which is to say your commenting on this blog doesn't mean a thing to you. i'm just another tree for you to mark your territory on aren't I? I mean, I didn't really say anything in depth about the Supreme Court's bullshit decision but you didn't even really respond to anything I wrote. In fact, now that i've looked up your blog, you basically cut n' pasted something you already posted, WTF?!

tell me I mean more to you Tom, tell me you're gonna start sending money to your local Free Skool,, or anti-prison/police brutality coalition. Tell me you're going to read Derrick Jensen and advocate for the end to the industrial economy and all forms of hierarchical societies as we know it. I'll even let you keep MLK's 67' Vietnam speech if you start bumping Emma Goldman.